So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
