Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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