your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
