shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
