The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
