You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Alive.
So much puke
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
