so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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