ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I came so hard my ears popped.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
