I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
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