He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Fuck appropriateness.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
