Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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