At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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