So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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