I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
