No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
birth control should be required to get into college
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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