His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
