sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize