You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
