Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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