I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
