How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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