I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I could fuck to npr.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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