The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
