You work out of a Hotel?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
