Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
