he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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