At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
