dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
im six kinds of drunk right now
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
