Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
