I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize