he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
