I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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