It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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