you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
