she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
