You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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