You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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