I CAN MOONWALK!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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