Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize