wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
