Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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