If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
