Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
