haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize