I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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