u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
