P.S. I can't hear my feet
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
