What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
