I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We're too hungover to prance.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
