Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
