This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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