she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
