Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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