I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
