so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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