apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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