Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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