idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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