Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
