you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
