Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
