have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
