Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm passing your future prison.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
