ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
